I stand alone surrounded by people. People line the museum crowded around each display. Children with hot faces pressed against cool glass catching a glimpse of the nature contained within. Life can sometimes feel like a museum. So many eyes peering in but never knowing what’s under the surface. As I look around me the room swirls with colors and my eyes are covered in a haze. My face cools as each tear runs down my cheeks. I’ve never felt such deep loneliness in a crowd of people before. I find the comfort my soul had been aching for in their concerning glances as they pass by. I now suddenly feel on display. These tears represent my pain and the crowd is like a comforting suffocation drowning out the negativity I feed myself. Mislead by my own emotions I now feel utterly soft spoken. The words stream into the tears splashing onto the ground, I call them my worst fears. Unspoken is the hurt I have carried on my shoulders and the burden has made my back feel broken. I stand small. In this crowd I mentally escape it all. I feel safe in the silence of my own words and the strangers eyes hold me as they carry away a piece of my unspoken emotion.
So, I was inspired to write this piece after reading through a very old journal I found the other day. I read an entry I had made about feeling so alone in a crowd and wanted to dive a bit deeper into the experience. It breaks my heart to read through entries where I was clearly experiencing pain, but it just reminds me how much a journey life is and that you have to stay strong through it all.