This Ocean Consumes Me

I’m wading in the water, and I’m in deep. The cool air rushes over me, and I spread my arms wide as I turn my eyes toward the heavens. Bring me close to you Lord. With every wave pushing back on me I take a concerted effort to move one step further. My heart is racing because what’s underneath me is unknown. It’s 5am and the beach is clear. The ocean water is cold and causing the tiny hairs on my arms to stick up. Please don’t turn away from me Lord. My heart is heavy with sin, and You are the only one who can cleanse me from my past. I am weak and unworthy of your love. The sun begins to push through the clouds and I feel its warmth on my cheeks.

I have come out here to be nearer to you Lord. My soul aches for the sound of your voice and your hand to guide me. How did I get this lost? I thought you were beside me, but I strayed. I should have known better but I didn’t do better. I am sorry Lord. Please Forgive me. The water begins to lap at my chest and my surroundings touch me back to the present. I panic. My brow fills with sweat and my body suddenly loses all balance as it is over come with a big wave. This is it, I think to myself. Maybe this is how I will be nearer to the Lord. I twist and turn under water as I am rolled around by a wave and I lose sense of which way is up and which way is down. In the midst of my chaos and panic one thing become clear to me. The Lord has never strayed from me. It is only when I draw my eyes away from him that I see the evil, fear, and destruction around me. A warm feeling comes over me and my lungs wish to inhale. Should I? I trust you Lord, so I do, and I open my eyes. I’m back on shore and begin coughing up water. You saved me!

You saved me from myself, and sometimes that’s who my biggest enemy is. Thank you Lord! Thank you!

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