My silence is quiet.
Fainter than a whisper.
Heard by no one.
My voice goes unnoticed.
My head is full of the questions I will never hear an answer to as their authority chokes the words from my lips.
What is it about me?
What did I do wrong?
Was my skin too dark for your liking?
Was my voice not re-strained enough?
My hands not gentle enough?
My spirit not kind enough?
My eyes not empathic enough?
I tried so hard to carry joy in my heart even when there was none to be felt.
My lips were chapped from biting back the words that wanted to come pouring out of my mouth.
Sorry I was almost late. I just received news I have cancer and am struggling to hide my pain and frustration.
Sorry I didn’t smile more today. I have been up since 4:30am praying over my daughter while she was in the ER.
Sorry I spoke up. I was being harassed by someone from your management team.
I am trying to fit into this pre-concieved mold you have for me but my curves are too big and my hair is too curly to be turned into someone I am not.
I understand that is why you “Don’t think I am good fit for your company”
My skin color does not accomplish the level of care you are trying to reach.
My intelligence is too high to turn a blind eye to the unjust treatment I have received here.
My voice has become heard by too many people and my face has been seen by far more than you feel comfortable with.
I represent your company now and that was a fact that was too frightening for you.
You hide behind your bogus excuses and rest on your privileged status that no matter how hard I work or how early I show up. I will always be considered black.
A mere color that will depict your justification for my ill-treatment and my wavering employment status.
You expect my silence because you deem me uneducated enough to advance further in life,
to rise above this heavy bar you have set on my shoulders.
But my eyes look toward that heavens while yours look down at me.
And while your tongue spews hate and preaches lies
I use my tongue to pray for the lives that have experienced the discrimination that you refuse to recognize.
I will not be silent because your company has money.
I will not be silent because you abuse your authority to intimidate me.
I will not be silent during this “transitional” period of my life.