To Those Nights

To those nights of forgetting a summer’s painful past. Cheers! Everyone else in the room echoed along with us. We did this every year. Celebrating the pain that makes us who we are today instead of trying to forget. But something about last summer couldn’t be forgotten. I can still smell the daisys he bought me. “These are dying hun.” Oh they are? I’m so sorry. You know they were on sale and I thought why not cause you’ve never been too good at keeping things alive. He chuckled. I’ve kept you alive right? Well, you see I’m a grown man and as long as our supply of beer and steak are kept up we tend to be okay. Haha I retorted. We better get going or else we’re going to be late. It was the opening of the Winter’s Tale at the Alvin Ally Theater in downtown Chicago, and we had prime seating tickets. We were heading out the door. Oh wait! I forgot my sweater. Can I meet you at the car? I ran back to his room and that’s when I saw it. Right there. A letter sticking out from his bills with a handwritten address right on it. My mind grew more curious as my heart raced a little. I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t. My phoned glowed. It was him saying he was ready for me. I tugged at the edge of the letter just enough to make out the name on it. Fiona Heartman from Florence, Italy. Italy? Who does he know from Italy? I snapped a pictured of it and texted back “On my way.”

Curiosity isn’t wrong in a relationship. It’s healthy. It’s how we find out that his favorite color is orange even though no one’s favorite color is ever orange. It’s how I found out his mother is obsessed with collecting cats and cat figurings. And it’s how we found out we shared a love of toasted almond ice cream from Frenchy’s Ice Cream at the park. So when does curiosity become a bad thing? Is it when it’s 2am and you find yourself snopping through his phone while pretending to use the bathroom? Or how about making up some outrageous story about how your computer suddenly hates the internet and you need to use his to submit your work proposal on time or else your boss is going to kill you. Can’t say I’m too proud of using that one.

But how did we get like this? When did conversations get so hard to have? When did we get so hard to be around?

I took a hard gulp and placed my glass back down on the table. “Cheers!” I said again.

 

 

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