Beautiful You

Sometimes the most beautiful parts of ourselves are the ones we try so desperately to change.

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Love

Love

Is it that feeling I get when I’m kissing your lips

Or is it something that can be ordered and shipped?

Love

Does it keep tallies and lists

of who’s right and who’s wrong over our past quips?

Love

Can it help me forget

the shame that I felt that night I was stripped?

Love

Do we take it for granted

with slammed doors and hot words that burn as they’re planted?

Love

Will it be kind to us

And hold onto the vows we set down in trust?

Love

Leaves so many questions and worries on my mind,

But I don’t really care as long as your heart is mine.

Blogger Fail

Hey guys,

So I had started doing that November blog everyday challenge thing and then the unspeakable happened….I missed blogging yesterday. It wasn’t because I had forgotten or anything like that. I just didn’t know what to write about. My previous post was basically about this huge fight my mom and I got into and I didn’t wanna use my blogging platform to push anymore negativity into the world. So for that post I’m sorry guys! We are actually on speaking terms again, but that’s not why I decided to start blogging again. I just accepted that I am beyond lazy. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even do the stuff I really like doing anymore because…well.. that would require effort and energy and.. well you get the point. So today I took my lazy sack of bones away from the world wide web and actually did stuff. But before you start thinking I have this cool story to tell ya let me put a stop to that thinking now. I literally spent the whole day sitting in my room listening to music, playing the piano, and working on this huge art project. Needless to say I don’t think anyone should have that much alone time. But I think my eyes thanked me for not staring into a screen all day.

Okay that’s really all I wanted to say. I realize that this looks like a letter now so um I guess we can say this is for anyone who doesn’t ever get mail. aha

Thanks for reading guys! 🙂

Unemployed

I feel everything I’m not. Each new day brings feelings of hope and disappointment. I’m waiting. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on though because I can feel my spirit slipping. Drowning in the sorrows of a broken spirit and losing sight of what the future may have. Why does this feeling seem permanent? The pain is making a home in my heart, and the baggage it brings weighs on my mind. Constantly reminded of where I am and where I am not.  I fear the change will never come. Anxiously awaiting in a constant repetition of stalemate. Every move I thought I needed to make is slowly pushing me out of the game. I sit rethinking the past 4 years and questioning if I have chosen the right path. I am here now, but I feel so lost. This gap year was supposed to help me find myself, figure out my life, but in reality it has only been causing me strife. The words I hate circle my mind, mocking my story as I write it at night. Alone, abandoned, confused, and now damaged. Useless I feel as the days begin to embed the words on my body. Numb to this life, all this strife, and the constant need to take flight. But my wings are clipped and the cage is evident. No songs of joy to be sung just words of encouragement to put down the gun. But the gun isn’t here. It’s over there. Held in the hands of those who choose my fate. They say it’s not too late, but then tell me why do I feel there is no escape?

These hands

I

Not every piece will be good

But these hands write what they should

Shedding light unto a world

Only the imagination could

II

Broken or used

Tattered but not quite abused

These hands write what they should

Shedding light unto a world

Only the imagination could

III

Embraced and loved

Or sex to fake love

Broken or used

Tattered but not quite abused

These hands write what they should

Shedding light unto a world

Only the imagination could

IV

Hurt and Alone

Hidden from light

These hands write what they feel because they have no sight

V

Wounded but bandaged

Life has a way of leaving you damaged

Hurt and Alone

Hidden from light

Broken or used

Tattered but not quite abused

Embraced and loved

Or sex to fake love

These hands write what they should

Because without them who would