A sad feeling

A sad feeling

Back again

Why is it so hard to communicate?

Why is it so hard to express that I need more from you at times?

Why does my heart feel heavy?

Maybe I should stop doing all that I do.

But would it get done?

I’m not perfect.

I have my moments of insecurities.

It shouldn’t come back to this.

This feeling of sadness, emptiness, abandonment.

I wanted you close but I somehow pushed you away.

I just needed you. I don’t know why but I did.

I’m sorry I’m so messed up for needing you.

I love you.

You don’t know what it’s like to be me.

To have your brain never turn off.

I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.

How can I make it better?

I can’t!

I won’t!

It won’t be better because of me.

What’s the price for this feeling?

Loneliness I suppose

Missed Me Yet?

Missed me yet my sweet darlings?

While you’ve been here waiting, I’ve been out.

Out tasting the fruit of the forbidden,

quenching every desire on my own accord.

While you pluck away at your silly lost loves heart strings

I have taken the world by storm,

blazing a new trail with every mani-pedi and root touch up I get.

While you search for news,

I make it

While you wonder what’s for dinner,

I am the main course,

I am the one you want to be,

I am the one you will never meet,

I am effortless and unobtainable.